36. Broken City
Rated: R
Released: 2013
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Russell Crowe, Catherine Zeta-Jones
Format Watched in: In Theaters
I don't know why I watch thrillers anymore. I think it's all in the trailer that gets me. I sit there and I think the movie is full of excitement and intrigue and I get excited to see it. Then the movie comes out and I keep waiting for those exciting moments that I saw in the trailer to come and low and behold they show up at the end of the movie and everything has been ruined from beginning to end. Oh sure with Broken City they left out one small twist, except if you are paying attention to the movie you absolutely know what it is before it's revealed. I liked Wahlberg and I enjoyed Barry Pepper, but aside from that it just felt empty and the ride wasn't nearly as enjoyable as the trailer made it seem.
35. Warm Bodies
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2013
Starring: Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich
Format Watched in: In Theaters
Truth be told I am not much of a fan of zombie movies. I mean at the root of it they aren't very frightening to me because in a traditional sense you should be able to out run them and if you don't it's all about a blunt object to the head. Yes eventually you will run into problems of no food and all of that but there is no winning in a zombie apocalypse there is only delaying the inevitable which just doesn't seem scary to me. Warm Bodies manages to bring a new perspective on a pretty tired genre, in that you sympathize with the zombies and they are the good guys. Sure it's weird to see the female love interest fall in love with a zombie, but because of the inner dialogue that the audience participates in you know he isn't a mindless corpse with only brains on his mind. If you want a traditional zombie thing go ahead and watch the Walking Dead instead, but I am ready for something new if we aren't just going to get rid of the zombie genre entirely.
34. Sneakers
Rated: PG-13
Released: 1992
Starring: Robert Redford, Dan Aykroyd, Sidney Poitier
Format Watched in: MAX Go
There's way too much talent in this movie for it to be bad. From top to bottom there isn't an untalented person involved (anyone who says anything poorly about Dan Aykroyd will be punched in the face.), and from my perpective this one holds up as a fun action adventure movie in the current vein of the Ocean's 11 movies. I wasn't even completely distracted by how attractive Robert Redford and River Phoenix are. Yes the technology that they use comes across kinda hokey in today's day and age but this was 1992 and they had to work with 1992 technologies so you really need to cut them some slack on that.
33. Nancy Drew
Rated: PG
Released: 2007
Starring: Emma Roberts, Tate Donovan, Max Thieriot
Format Watched in: MAX Go
Sometimes when it's late at night and I still haven't watched my movie for the day I find myself picking anything that doesn't look like I need to put any effort into watching it. With that in mind I bring you - Nancy Drew the movie! Did this movie need to be made? No. Should a grown man in his mid-30's without a young daughter watch this movie? No. Is Emma Roberts great? No, but she is pretty enjoyable in the other things I have seen her in and so I figured what harm could come of seeing her as a kid detective? Exactly no harm came of it. I saw my movie, it was meh, I fell asleep. Look I'm not gonna lie to you, there was no way I was going to be actually emotionally invested in this movie. The goal isn't to watch a movie I want to see every single day for a year it's to watch a movie every single day for a year. Sometimes I watch good things. Today I watched Nancy Drew.
32. Rio
Rated: PG
Released: 2011
Starring:
Jesse Eisenberg,
Anne Hathaway,
George Lopez
Format Watched in: MAX Go
Animated movies these days are all about making something very bright and vibrant that looks really, really pretty. Rio has exactly that but it also has heart. I honestly think that Pixar in recent years has lost favor some favor with me as far as it's place as my favorite animation studio.I'm not saying they aren't my favorite, but rather with a pair of uninspiring releases for me and the increasing success of Dreamworks their spot as my favorite has come under some pressure. Sure Dereamworks will still make a sequel out of any and all of their movies in an attempt to milk families for all of their money but they never pretended they didn't do that either. I don't know what else to say here except I liked it and I eagerly wait for the seventeen sequels that will surely follow.
31. Cowboys & Aliens
Rated: PG-13 Released: 2011
Starring: Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, Olivia Wilde Format Watched in: On Demand
What do you get when you combine James Bond with Han Solo and Aliens and Jon Favreau? You get a giant cluster fuck of a movie that is a lot of fun but also pretty lacking in logic. Then again the movie is called Cowboys & Aliens so really what was I expecting? Just shut your brain off (I feel like this sentence is a running theme on this blog.) and enjoy the ride for what it is. At least this Harrison Ford movie is honest about how it involves aliens and there's no hiding in a fridge to avoid a nuclear blast, because holy shit that was stupid.
30. American Dreamz Rated: PG-13
Released: 2006
Starring: Hugh Grant, Dennis Quaid, Mandy Moore Format Watched in: MAX Go
Sometimes satire is so vague that people can't really see it and as a result the audience is left thinking the whole movie is stupid and miss the point the filmmakers were trying to make. That isn't American Dreamz. No instead this movie lays everything on so thick it's impossible to see anything but the point. The cast was good, I mean Quaid looks very presidential and they cast Mandy Moore as a singer which is kinda perfect. The only real complaint I have with the cast is they cast Hugh Grant as their Simon Cowell character when he is usually best suited to be affable and endearing. If you like the oddball dark satire you will find this movie enjoyable. It has it's flaws and at times is too silly for it's own good but in the end it worked for me.
29. First Daughter
Rated: PG Released: 2004
Starring: Katie Holmes, Michael Keaton, Marc Blucas Format Watched in: HBO Go
This may come as a shock to you dear reader but in 2004 there were two movies about the president's daughter going off to school and trying to be a real person and falling in love with someone the president secretly put into her life to watch her and keep her safe. Yeah that plot was so mind blowingly awesome it had to be used TWICE. Not surprisingly they were both terrible. However what is surprising is the fact that this movie was directed by Forest Whitaker. Yes FOREST WHITAKER. I dare you to find something more surprising than that. Go on I will wait.
28. Fierce Creatures
Rated: PG-13 Released: 1997
Starring: John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin Format Watched in: HBO Go
One really can't understate the genius of A Fish Named Wanda. It is easily one of the funniest and smartest movies to come out in the 1980's. Nearly ten years later the cast reunited for Fierce Creatures. While lacking some of the heart that made Wanda so endearing even after all these years Fierce Creatures still packs the laughs and the cast is still just as brilliant. Michael Palin was probably my favorite part of this cast, once again stealing the show like he did with Wanda. Kline pulls double duty and is wonderful as well. As with most of these reunions after some time away it isn't as good the second time around, but it's still worth a watch.
27. Me @ The Zoo
Rated: NR Released: 2012
Starring:
Chris Crocker Format Watched in: HBO Go
You would think a documentary on the life and rise to fame of a YouTube celebrity would be boring and hard to keep one's attention but with a personality as open and charismatic as Crocker you would absolutely be wrong. Weaving through his evolution from normal kid discovering himself to polarizing figure that stands out as the future of this open and very public internet generation. I couldn't turn away, and in the end I felt more comfortable in my own internet persona and the relationships I have garnered from it.
26. Drive Me Crazy
Rated: PG-13 Released: 1999
Starring:
Melissa Joan Hart, Adrian Grenier Format Watched in: HBO Go
Remember when you had the innocence of not realizing everything rips off everything? When the word 'trope' wasn't in your vocabulary? Well I feel like that's exactly the audience Drive Me Crazy was hoping to attract. The plot is laughably by the book. Everything just seems contrived and paint by numbers. The only real change from a mediocre episode of Saved By the Bell and Drive Me Crazy is that Drive Me Crazy is 60 minutes longer and told from primarily the female prospective. I will say the Chemistry between Melissa and Adrian was enjoyable and as far as harmless teen fluff this isn't terrible. Just go ahead and make sure you remember back to simpler times.
25. Movie 43
Rated: R Released: 2013
Starring:
Emma Stone,
Stephen Merchant,
Richard Gere,
Liev Schreiber Format Watched in: Theater
I honestly don't know how to talk about this movie. What is essentially a collection of shorts that seem to be constantly trying to out gross the last one works on that level. With that said there was very little point beyond that and I am at a point where unless I am in the mood for it I expect more from my comedy than just "Hugh Jackman has balls on his neck isn't that hilarious?". There were shorts that really worked for me, Homeschooled, Veronica, Machine Kids, Middle School Date and Super Hero Speed Dating in particular. There were also ones that left me thankful no one in the theater knew who I was because I was embarrassed to be there. The visual effects were hit and miss, Gerard Butler as a leprechaun was a hit, Halle Berry having CGI boobs did not. (for the record I don't mind that she decided to CGI her boob, I just wish it was a more realistic looking boob.) I appreciate these collections of shorts if they are done right like Amazon Women On the Moon or Kentucky Fried Movie, this one doesn't deserve to be compared to those movies but at the same time at least it tried to be original and I can at least appreciate that about it.
24. Antwone Fisher
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2002
Starring: Denzel Washington, Derek Luke, Joy Bryant
Format Watched in: Blu-Ray
I don't know how many of you realize this but Denzel Washington can ACT. It also turns out that the man can direct as well. With Antwone Fisher you have a deeply personal and moving story of redemption and finding your place in life. The young lead Derek Luke delivered a really moving performance and at the end of the day this movie pulls you in and it's because of Luke. If I were to have a bone to pick with this movie it's that it's not only based on a true story but it is also written by Antowne Fisher, the very same Antowne Fisher this movie is about. Because it was a movie written by the person it's about I can't help but wonder how much of it was real and how much was exaggerated. I'm not saying he made any of this up, because there's no reason someone would make up such horrible things, but exaggerations happen in every bio pic, and I know how I tell stories so I can't help but think it's exaggerated at least a little. Give it a watch if you are in the mood to be moved, because this movie will move you something fierce.
23. Transporter 3
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2008
Starring: Jason Statham, Robert Knepper, Natalya Rudakova
Format Watched in: Blu-Ray
I could have sworn I had seen this movie the entire time I was watching it. Aren't all Jason Statham movies pretty much the same movie? I mean Fast car + fighting + woman in danger + convoluted plot = Jason Statham movie right? I can't fault him though he found a formula much like Schwarzenegger before him that works for him and he's sticking to it. Stallone could learn a lot from them in this regard. I had seen the first Transporter and I remembered liking it, but I skipped the second one because I had grown tired of just the idea of PG-13 action movies. I decided to give the franchise a second chance and skipped to the third edition and it was just as over the top as I remembered. I mean he jumps his car onto the top of a moving train, because of course he does. Still I felt like the franchise could be helped a lot by just accepting it's fate and going R.
22. Ever After: A Cinderella Story
Rated: PG-13
Released:1998
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott
Format Watched in: HBO GO
1998 was a bit of a rebirth for Drew Barrymore. After spending the better part of a decade making what essentially boils down to softcore porn films like Doppelganger and Poison Ivy she found her way back into America's collective hearts playing opposite Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer. That's right you have Adam Sandler to thank for reminding the world that Drew was a thing. You also have this movie to thank for it because while the Wedding Singer won her over in the hearts of boys because of it's connection to Sandler you don't entirely win girls over as someone to look up to until you play Cinderella in a slightly gritty reboot of the tale before the gritty reboot was a thing. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not a 15 year old girl anymore but i couldn't quite escape being bored by this once revered movie. I mean it was okay, but it wasn't as special as it should have been. And this ends "Allen reviews a movie by talking almost exclusively about a different movie".
21. Puss In Boots
Rated: PG
Released: 2011
Starring: Antonio Benderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis
Format Watched in: HBO GO
Dreamworks had just driven the Shrek franchise into the ground with it's third movie and they were in need of a new cash cow for their animation department. THey decided that they needed to spin off from the Shrek franchise because that's not tired at all right? They latched onto a new character that in a limited role captured everyone's attention because it was a new character that featured Antonio Benderas being all swarthy and Spanish in a kids movie which was pretty much the only good thing in the third movie. This led to a bit character that had the potential to become beloved in small doses but completely tedious in large doses getting it's own movie. What could possibly go wrong? Well with Puss In Boots they managed to walk that thin line very gingerly and succeeded at not entirely annoying me with Antonio's schtick. Congratulations Dreamworks, now feel free to not drive this into the ground with any sequels. What's that? You're already working on a sequel? Okay well go fuck yourself then.
20. Road To El Dorado, The
Rated: PG
Released: 2000
Starring: Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Rosie Perez
Format Watched in: HBO GO
Lately it seems it's nearly impossible for a non computer animated movie to get any sort of play in theaters. We've become to expect our cartoons to look like Toy Story instead of Snow White, and when that happens it takes a lot of hard work to get people to appreciate traditionally animated movies. While in the past they could skate by on mediocrity and still be big in the box office during the transitional period from traditional to computers people would shy away from traditional films because they saw the future and wanted more. Dreamworks was still set that traditional animation could survive and kept releasing mediocre family films and people wouldn't care because hey Cartoons. The Road to El Dorado is one of their last mediocre films before they realized that in order for traditional animated films to make money they had to be special. Nothing against the people involved but the first mistake for me was casting Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh as two Spanish con men really didn't understand that English people and Spaniards have different accents, and let's not even get into the idea of Rosie Perez doing voice work. Still it's a moderately enjoyable film that will entertain children that don't care about regional dialects.
19. Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel
Rated:NR
Released: 2009
Starring: Chris O'Dowd, Anna Faris, Marc Wooten, Dean Lennox Kelly
Format Watched in: HBO GO
I will watch any non Scary Movie franchise movie that Anna Faris is in. She is criminally underrated as a comedic actress and more often than not her movies have heart that I am not sure I would be able to see if she wasn't involved. However with FAQ that isn't entirely the case. No instead this movie is mostly carried by O'Dowd who is quickly becoming a comedic force all his own after I.T. Crowd and his turn in Bridesmaids. You know the part in Looper where Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are in the diner and JGL is trying to wrap his head around time travel and Bruce Willis essentially tells him to shut up and he's not going to get into it because it's too weird and complicated? Yeah this movie is essentially all the stuff Bruce Willis didn't want to talk about. It embraces all the weird and convolutedness of time travel and it manages to make you laugh the whole way through. Find this movie and love it as much as I did.
18. Last Stand, The
Rated:R
Released: 2013
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Johnny Knoxville, Forest Whitaker
Format Watched in: Theater
With the exception of Collateral Damage I have seen every single Schwarzenegger movie. Commando was my absolute favorite movie as a kid thanks in part to "the machine gun dance", Arnold taking an saw blade to a dude's head, and a young Alyssa Milano. With that bit of knowledge you can imagine how excited I was to hear that Arnold was returning to beating people to death. I was counting down the days until this movie came out. And let me just tell you that it does NOT disappoint. Are there absurd parts that don't make the slightest bit of sense? Of course. Does it make a LICK of sense that Arnold with his thick Austrian accent would be a sheriff in a small border town in Arizona? NOPE. Does any of that matter? NOPE. This movie exists entirely to boost testosterone and entertain, and it does both. I can't find a negative in this movie because it embraced all of them with a wink and a nod. This movie knows exactly what it is and is excited to show you. This movie is the absolute epitome of a movie where shutting off your brain is a prerequisite.
17.Open Season
Rated: PG
Released: 2006
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Ashton Kutcher, Debra Messing
Format Watched in: DVD
I want to say that I don't hate Ashton Kutcher. Yes he's a douchebag. No he isn't a good actor when he isn't playing Kelso on That 70's Show. However cartoon voice work might be where he belongs, because through this entire movie he wasn't the worst part. Yeah he's pretty much just doing his best Eddie Murphy as Donkey from Shrek impersonation but as an annoying deer with one antler he works for me. The movie as a whole doesn't quite keep my interest and I spent most of it wondering why Boog didn't just maul the deer that he clearly hated until the final 15 minutes but then I remembered this movie wasn't made for me, no this movie is made for kids and only kids so I can't hate on it for me not liking it. It's a cartoon, watch it with your kids. They should laugh and take it much less seriously as I did.
16. Day the Earth Stood Still, The
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2008
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Jennifer Connelly, Kathy Bates
Format Watched in: Blu-Ray
Some Science Fiction remakes work better than the original. It has a lot to do with the advance of our technologies in visual effects that can drive the movie to things that were unheard of when the original was released. It also takes moving the story to places that they couldn't do when the original was made. The original Day the Earth Stood Still managed to captivate audiences and try and carry it's message that is still relevant now. Sadly the remake is just mind numbingly boring and lacking any advancements from the original. Reeves should be perfect in the role of an emotionless alien sent here to destroy earth because we are squandering our resources and are horrible people, and honestly he kinda works. However instead of the cast elevating their performances above his so it comes across that we have a reason to live they actually come across as even more boring and lifeless than Reeves. Let me say that again - THE REST OF THE CAST IS BORING WHEN COMPARED TO KEANU REEVES. Maybe if something happened in this movie it would have been better but for the first 95% of this movie absolutely NOTHING happens, then once you are begging the Gort to kill you things start actually happening but you don't care in the slightest and are mostly just excited to see these horrible people die so you can stop watching this horrible movie. This movie is why remakes are hated and feared by the people. This movie made me hate Jennifer Connelly and I can never forgive it for that. I will say that whomever it was that edited the trailer deserves every single award that they give for trailer editing, because that trailer is for a movie I want to see. However this movie isn't it.
12. Monty Python And The Holy Grail
Rated: PG
Released: 1975
Starring: John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle
Format Watched in: DVD
Remember how much I didn't like The Meaning of Life? And How I said I didn't get it? Well The Holy Grail pretty much is the opposite of that while simultaneously being the same. It's a lot of the same over the top and crazy jokes but this time they really worked. I think a lot of that has to do with the times that they were released. In Grail they are young and eager and excited by what they are doing, and it really shows. With Life however they just seemed beaten and ready to move on from each other. The bits have energy and life to them. Everything is funny. EVERYTHING. And it all made sense at the same time. I can't applaud this movie everyone has been in love with since 1975 enough for continuing to be awesome when a schmuck like me waits until 2013 to watch it.
14. Game Change
Rated: R
Released: 2012
Starring: Julianne Moore, Woody Harrelson, Ed Harris
Format Watched in: HBO
Once upon a time Sarah Palin was a Vice Presidential candidate. Remember that guys? Remember how crazy all of that was? Well the people at HBO sure remember that. HBO has always made great movies, and this one is no exception. Moore is amazing as Palin, I would almost go as far as to say she's even more enjoyable in that role than Tina Fey was on SNL. They manage to blend real archival footage from the campaign trail. Ed Harris was pretty enjoyable as McCain as well. There are some people who might think of this as being very anti-republican, and really it does seem to paint them as desperate for a move that could possibly help them compete with Obama. All in all it's a pretty great movie that made me feel sorry for the Republicans and Palin because of just how in over their heads they were in that election.
13. Antz
Rated: PG Released: 1998
Starring: Woody Allen, Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, Jennifer Lopez Format Watched in: DVD
I was still a small child when Woody Allen rose into WOODY ALLEN and since then he's just become this guy that makes pretty much the same movie over and over again and everyone loves them. Now I don't know what made Woody Allen decide he wanted to be a part of an animated movie in 1998. Unfortunately for this gem of a movie it was greatly overshadowed by coming out the same year as Pixar's A Bug's Life and the bright colors of A Bug's Life won out over the more realistic looking Antz. Plus you see that annoying "let's appeal to young punks" Z at the end of the word Ants? Yeah that probably annoyed people enough to get them to watch the other one instead. If this was called Ants I bet it would be more popular. Anyway I'm distracted. The story of Z (ugh give him a real name!) has some really great underlying themes that I really enjoyed. For me the story became one of wanting to do something because it's what you love not because it's the role assigned to you. It's the story of asking questions of your leaders and coming to decisions on your own. It's about finding yourself and loving yourself. And if you were wondering yes Woody Allen is just as neurotic animated.
12. Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Rated: R Released: 1983
Starring: John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle Format Watched in: On Demand
By this point I feel like I can be honest with you the reader without fear of you judging me. I don't really understand a lot of British humor. It's just so.... silly? I don't want you to think I'm saying I don't like it, but rather I don't get a lot of it. That might stem from me being a stupid American more than anything though I'm not sure. Either way I wanted to expand my horizons with this challenge and because I wanted to start at the top I started with Python. Because I don't listen to common sense I did not start with The Holy Grail. No instead I started with The Meaning of Life. Was it funny? Sure. I mean I laughed, but I spent most of the time completely lost and confused. Rather than being an actual beginning, middle, end movie this plays more like a series of vaguely interconnected skits with no direction and trying WAY too hard to be weird. I can't really hold my inability to get it's high aspirations against this movie though can I? Nah I totally can.
11. Gangster Squad
Rated: R
Released: 2013
Starring: Sean Penn, Ryan Gosling, Emma Stone, Josh Brolin Format Watched in: Theaters
There are movies that are so over publicized that by the time they show up in theaters I'm tired of it existing long before I get around to seeing it. That's Gangster Squad for me recently. There hasn't been a movie in the theaters or TV show I've seen in the last three months that haven't had this trailer in front of it. What's especially interesting is how quickly the trailers disappear as well. It hasn't been a week and this trailer is nowhere to be seen. It's just odd. Anyway the movie. There's a lot of pretty in this movie, most of which comes from Gosling and Stone with some added pretty coming from the beautiful set and costume designs. The art deco film noir style is very prevalent in this movie and combined with some very now stylized violence (a man gets ripped in half by two cars before the opening credits) it just works for me. Sean Penn was pretty great as the former boxer turned crime lord and Brolin as the man that is dead set on bringing him to justice. I will say aside from those characters they don't really explain who the other members of the squad are or why we should care. It's very fast paced and in that at parts you are left playing catch up. Still I enjoyed it for what it was.
10. Life of Pi
Rated: PG
Released: 2012
Starring: Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan, Adil Hussain Format Watched in: Theaters
Going into Life of Pi I knew it was going to be a visual masterpiece. Ang Lee rarely skimps on the pretty in his movies, and the trailer makes it look vaguely reminiscent of a live action Fantasia. What I didn't expect was to walk out of the theater questioning everything I had just seen and in total awe of the experience. The difficulty of making a movie that essentially is just one actor for the entire duration is that so much of the drama or motivations are internal so so few of them actually work. With that said this one absolutely works thanks in part to the emotions that they were able to get from a CGI tiger and the performance by Suraj Sharma. The story itself is so unbelievable and ambitious that I still can't believe that it was made. Everything about this movie was beautiful and I left the movie with more questions and aching to see it again. I don't know if it will win the Academy award but I will say that if I had a vote I know what I would be voting for.
9. Thing, The
Rated: R
Released: 2011
Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Ulrich Thomsen
Format Watched in: On Demand
I haven't seen the original by John Carpenter either but I was familiar enough with the ideas behind the original that I felt comfortable trying what they were calling a prequel first. There are fewer things I dislike more in horror movies than showing the creature quickly and eliminating that suspense and fear of what could be causing the damage. However I can't really blame them for showing the alien so quickly if only because the alien creature isn't really what you are supposed to be fearing here. No the fear is in assimilation. In the unknown and paranoia about who can you trust and if the people around you are who you think they are. I think my biggest gripe with this movie is that there is no real connection to the characters and as a result you don't care one way or the other who dies and who lives. These people just get dropped into the Antarctic with little to no backstory. Hell I think only like four of them have names. Still for a harmless horror movie you could do worse. Still I'm gonna say stick with the 1982 version. Yes I know I haven't seen it but it's probably better and you know it.
8. Lincoln
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2012
Starring: Daniel Day Lewis, Sally Field, Tommy Lee Jones Format Watched in: Theater
Okay let's get this out of the way right now, this movie was made for the Oscars. It stars no less than 234,873 previous winners, it's a period drama, it's a Spielberg drama, and of course SLAVERY. Everything was in place for everyone to love it and heap tons of praise at it's feet in the form of shinny gold statues. That said if you take Daniel Day Lewis doing his crazy as hell Daniel Day Lewis thing all over this movie this movie is wrought with over acting and forced emotions. It dragged on for about forever and in the scenes without Lincoln in them crawled and lulled me to sleep. And then Sally Field screamed everything she said and woke me up. This is not me saying I disliked this movie, I liked it when Daniel Day Lewis was there to distract me from everything else by being awesome. Still is one performance enough to carry a film to a good review? Not really.
7. Anvil: The Story of Anvil
Rated: R
Released: 2008
Starring: Rob Reiner, Steve 'Lipps' Kudlow
Format Watched in: DVD
Anvil is the story of passion. In the boom of the metal scene of the 80's you have you Metallica, you have your Anthrax, you have your Slayer, and if you listen to the testimonials at the beginning of this movie you also have Anvil. However due to circumstances beyond their control instead of being remembered as metal gods they are mostly forgotten and clasping onto the dream that their dreams aren't dead even at 50. Some parts of this movie are hard to watch because of the awkwardness of seeing these two grown men stuck in a perpetual childishness. Rob seems to be the most levelheaded of the two with the ability to see past life in a band. Lipps however is constantly pushing the limits of sanity and grasping to straws. I say that but honestly I wish I had his conviction. In the end you will laugh, you will cry and you will want to form a band.
6. Stripes
Rated: R
Released: 1981
Staring Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, John Candy
Format Watched In: DVD
I have no excuses for this one. I should have seen it a million times by now. I've owned it for years knowing how much I would enjoy it, and yet I had never seen it until this project happened. I honestly can't explain it. I have distinct memories of walking the isles of TR Video back in Lewiston, ID as a kid, seeing this box and wanting to see it. Just from the box I knew it would be for me. And yet I never watched it. I really don't have to tell you how funny this movie is (SO funny) because you all know this already. I will however tell you that I now have a new appreciation for a good shoe shine and I know that I should never get the Schnitzel, they're using Schnauzer. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go mud wrestle.
5. Benny & Joon
Rated: PG
Released: 1993
Starring: Johnny Depp Mary Stuart Masterson Aiden Quinn
Format watched in: HBOGO
Aside from 21 Jump Street, Ed Wood, and Edward Scissorhands I've never been much of a Johnny Depp fan. Yeah, yeah I know he's eccentric and dedicated to his roles and he's AWESOME, whatever. He's doesn't have to be weird all the damned time does he? Well I think I managed to trace his crazy horseshit to one role. In Benny he plays Sam a peculiar man that bases a lot of his actions on Buster Keaton. Once Sam is brought into the lives of the adorably insane Joon of course they fall in love much to this dismay of her over protective older brother Benny. Now I am a sucker for a good ROMCOM so of course I was won over by the end and wound up falling in love with these two misguided souls but for me it took a lot to get over my original hatred for Depp. Still I won't deny this was a cute movie that I probably will see again once this year is over.
4. Vagina Monologues, The
Rated: NR
Released: 2002
Staring: Eve Ensler
Format Watched In: HBO GO
Unlike a lot of the movies that I will see this year this never really was on my to see list. I had heard about it when it was first really BIG but since I'm not exactly it's target demo thanks to my having a penis I never thought much of it. Thankfully I was pressed for time the day that I watched this and decided I needed something short and easy to take in. Well I was right on one of those counts. This movie is pretty much a behind the scene documentary mixed with selected stage performances by the Monologues creator Ensler. The conversations that she brings to life are poignant and deep while also occasionally being full of whimsy and fun. I never put much thought into the vagina and just kind of assumed women viewed it similarly to how I view my penis, but through this I learned very quickly that isn't the case. No there seems to be an inherent shame from having a vagina and it's something that is so rarely discussed that the stigma just grows and grows. I'm glad I watched this because now I can teach my daughters, should I be lucky enough to have any, how beautiful and lucky they are. This also gave me even more respect for the women in my life than what I had previously. No I wasn't the target demographic but I still learned something and that's exactly what this project is for.
3. A Few Good Men
Rated R
Released: 1992
Staring: Tom Cruise Demi Moore Jack Nicholson
Format Watched in: Theater (thanks to the 20/20 awards!)
You know those movies where you've seen pivotal clips of so many times that you feel like you have seen the entire film? A Few Good Men was one of those films for me. I had seen the Nicholson/Cruise courtroom standoff scene so many times that I absolutely felt like I had seen it. In reality that was really all of this movie that I had ever seen, which is a shame because I really was missing out on a pretty good film. I won't recap the entire plot here because it really doesn't matter. I can tell you that it was good to see that while everyone can pretty much agree that Tom Cruise overacts all over the place, I can now confirm that he has really mellowed as an actor in the later parts of his career compared to this role where he is absolutely as far over the top that unfortunately it makes Demi Moore's wooden and dead performance look even worse next to him. Jack is... well he's Jack. I think my favorite actor in this movie is the very understated but grounded and believable Kevin Pollack playing Cruise's assistant attorney. Overall this was an enjoyable film that while cheesy and over the top in parts kept my attention and worked when it really had no right working.
2. nWo: The Revolution
Rated NR
Released: 2012
Staring: Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Hulk Hogan
Format Watched In: Netflix
Okay so this one won't be for everyone, hell it might not even be for most people. However I'm a wrestling fan and while I found this documentary on the nWo to be kind of lacking in the depth and detail that I remember so fondly from the Rise and Fall of ECW and a few other WWE released documentaries I still found this release to be enjoyable. Sure I wish it had gone into more detail about what caused it to collapse onto itself and die, but the reality of this is this one isn't about the fall of the nWo, but rather it intends to romanticize that period and the change that the entire angle brought into professional wrestling. This review is probably gonna be shorter than most because there isn't much to say. If you enjoy this sort of thing (i.e. pro wrestling documentaries) then you will probably like this look back to what many consider the glory days of wrestling. If you don't then you really won't like it.
1. Promised Land
Rated R
Released: 2012
Starring: Matt Damon, Frances McDormand, John Krasinski
Format Watched In: Theaters
Going into this movie I thought it was going to be a romance with a environmental twist with Damon and Krasinski fighting it out over a woman. I can't entirely be blamed for this because I swear that's the movie the trailer showed me it was. However I was pleasantly surprised to find out I was mistaken. Yes there is a love story to the movie, but it's more the B story than the A story. The A story is about Damon coming into a rural town that is on it's last legs and trying to sell them the dream of Natural Gas and Krasinski as a environmentalist hell bent on stopping him.
If I'm being entirely honest here, and I should be since it's my blog, I am not entirely sure I liked this movie. It was well acted and directed (Gus Van Sant) it's just I had a hard time following along with who I am supposed to be rooting for during the movie. The movie does everything in it's power to tell you that Damon is the good guy, it even goes as far as to have him say "I am not a bad guy" repeatedly, but the entire time I felt like what he was doing wasn't right and that he didn't really care that he was taking advantage of these people. Meanwhile Krasinski is trying his best to get the townsfolk to see how much damage Natural Gas drilling can be, but he's also very clearly being positioned as the antagonist for Damon as he gets the better of him at every turn and you feel for Damon. Then there's a twist because of course there is a twist and sure Damon becomes the good guy that we keep being told he is but by that point I was so disconnected from everything happening that it was meaningless.
Like I said before the movie is well acted and directed, but the writing (Damon and Krasinski co-wrote it) just felt forced and confusing. It was nice to see Damon back in dramatic roles after an extended break into actionland, and the supporting cast, specifically Hal Holbrook and Rosemarie DeWitt, was top notch but in the end the muddled story and confusing character directions just didn't work for me in the end.
Hello and welcome to the new blog that I will ignore at the drop of the hat that no one will actually read. My name is Allen and this blog was designed to house my latest in a long line of terrible New Year's Resolutions. This may shock a lot of people that aren't reading this but I really enjoy movies - Good movies, bad movies, pretty much all movies. As a result of this life long passion of mine I have seen a lot of movies. A LOT OF MOVIES. However what might also be shocking to the people not reading this I haven't seen all of the movies. This is where the resolution comes into play. No I am not pledging to see every movie ever released. No my goal is much simpler than that. This year I will watch one new movie every day. That's it. just 365 new movies that I have never seen before in my 32 years of existing. Some of the movies will be seen in the theater and some will be seen at home, it really doesn't matter. The only real rule to this project is that the movie only counts if I have never seen it before.
What do I have to gain from this project? What will I learn? Well I think part of this project will serve to expand my horizons and introduce me things I wouldn't have considered watching before. Another part of is though is simply to have fun and give me something to do with my free time. Are there better things I could do with my free time? Sure there are, but I also know that I wouldn't last a week with those projects. This one should take me at least a month before I quit. So join me for this month okay?
