25. Movie 43

25. Movie 43
Rated: R
Released: 2013
Starring:  Emma Stone, Stephen Merchant, Richard Gere, Liev Schreiber
Format Watched in: Theater

I honestly don't know how to talk about this movie.  What is essentially a collection of shorts that seem to be constantly trying to out gross the last one works on that level.  With that said there was very little point beyond that and I am at a point where unless I am in the mood for it I expect more from my comedy than just "Hugh Jackman has balls on his neck isn't that hilarious?".  There were shorts that really worked for me, Homeschooled, Veronica, Machine Kids, Middle School Date and Super Hero Speed Dating in particular.  There were also ones that left me thankful no one in the theater knew who I was because I was embarrassed to be there.  The visual effects were hit and miss, Gerard Butler as a leprechaun was a hit, Halle Berry having CGI boobs did not. (for the record I don't mind that she decided to CGI her boob, I just wish it was a more realistic looking boob.) I appreciate these collections of shorts if they are done right like Amazon Women On the Moon or Kentucky Fried Movie, this one doesn't deserve to be compared to those movies but at the same time at least it tried to be original and I can at least appreciate that about it.

Rating: C-

24. Antowne Fisher

24. Antwone Fisher
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2002
Starring: Denzel Washington, Derek Luke, Joy Bryant
Format Watched in: Blu-Ray

I don't know how many of you realize this but Denzel Washington can ACT.  It also turns out that the man can direct as well.  With Antwone Fisher you have a deeply personal and moving story of redemption and finding your place in life.  The young lead Derek Luke delivered a really moving performance and at the end of the day this movie pulls you in and it's because of Luke.  If I were to have a bone to pick with this movie it's that it's not only based on a true story but it is also written by Antowne Fisher, the very same Antowne Fisher this movie is about.  Because it was a movie written by the person it's about I can't help but wonder how much of it was real and how much was exaggerated.   I'm not saying he made any of this up, because there's no reason someone would make up such horrible things, but exaggerations happen in every bio pic, and I know how I tell stories so I can't help but think it's exaggerated at least a little.  Give it a watch if you are in the mood to be moved, because this movie will move you something fierce.

Rating: B-

23. Transporter 3

23. Transporter 3
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2008
Starring: Jason Statham, Robert Knepper, Natalya Rudakova
Format Watched in: Blu-Ray

I could have sworn I had seen this movie the entire time I was watching it.  Aren't all Jason Statham movies pretty much the same movie?  I mean Fast car + fighting + woman in danger + convoluted plot = Jason Statham movie right?  I can't fault him though he found a formula much like Schwarzenegger before him that works for him and he's sticking to it.  Stallone could learn a lot from them in this regard.  I had seen the first Transporter and I remembered liking it, but I skipped the second one because I had grown tired of just the idea of PG-13 action movies.  I decided to give the franchise a second chance and skipped to the third edition and it was just as over the top as I remembered.  I mean he jumps his car onto the top of a moving train, because of course he does.  Still I felt like the franchise could be helped a lot by just accepting it's fate and going R.

Rating: C+

22. Ever After: A Cinderella Story

22. Ever After: A Cinderella Story
Rated: PG-13
Released:1998
Starring: Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott
Format Watched in: HBO GO

1998 was a bit of a rebirth for Drew Barrymore.  After spending the better part of a decade making what essentially boils down to softcore porn films like Doppelganger and Poison Ivy she found her way back into America's collective hearts playing opposite Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer.  That's right you have Adam Sandler to thank for reminding the world that Drew was a thing.  You also have this movie to thank for it because while the Wedding Singer won her over in the hearts of boys because of it's connection to Sandler you don't entirely win girls over as someone to look up to until you play Cinderella in a slightly gritty reboot of the tale before the gritty reboot was a thing.  Maybe it's the fact that I'm not a 15 year old girl anymore but i couldn't quite escape being bored by this once revered movie.  I mean it was okay, but it wasn't as special as it should have been.   And this ends "Allen reviews a movie by talking almost exclusively about a different movie".

Rating: C

21. Puss In Boots

21. Puss In Boots
Rated: PG
Released: 2011
Starring: Antonio Benderas, Salma Hayek, Zach Galifianakis
Format Watched in: HBO GO

Dreamworks had just driven the Shrek franchise into the ground with it's third movie and they were in need of a new cash cow for their animation department.  THey decided that they needed to spin off from the Shrek franchise because that's not tired at all right?  They latched onto a new character that in a limited role captured everyone's attention because it was a new character that featured Antonio Benderas being all swarthy and Spanish in a kids movie which was pretty much the only good thing in the third movie.  This led to a bit character that had the potential to become beloved in small doses but completely tedious in large doses getting it's own movie.  What could possibly go wrong?  Well with Puss In Boots they managed to walk that thin line very gingerly and succeeded at not entirely annoying me with Antonio's schtick.  Congratulations Dreamworks, now feel free to not drive this into the ground with any sequels.  What's that?  You're already working on a sequel?  Okay well go fuck yourself then.

Rating: C-

20. Road To El Dorado, The

20. Road To El Dorado, The
Rated: PG
Released: 2000
Starring: Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Rosie Perez
Format Watched in: HBO GO

Lately it seems it's nearly impossible for a non computer animated movie to get any sort of play in theaters.  We've become to expect our cartoons to look like Toy Story instead of Snow White, and when that happens it takes a lot of hard work to get people to appreciate traditionally animated movies.  While in the past they could skate by on mediocrity and still be big in the box office during the transitional period from traditional to computers people would shy away from traditional films because they saw the future and wanted more.  Dreamworks was still set that traditional animation could survive and kept releasing mediocre family films and people wouldn't care because hey Cartoons.  The Road to El Dorado is one of their last mediocre films before they realized that in order for traditional animated films to make money they had to be special.  Nothing against the people involved but the first mistake for me was casting Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh as two Spanish con men really didn't understand that English people and Spaniards have different accents, and let's not even get into the idea of Rosie Perez doing voice work.  Still it's a moderately enjoyable film that will entertain children that don't care about regional dialects.

Rating: C

19. Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel

19. Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel
Rated:NR
Released: 2009
Starring: Chris O'Dowd, Anna Faris, Marc Wooten, Dean Lennox Kelly
Format Watched in: HBO GO

I will watch any non Scary Movie franchise movie that Anna Faris is in.  She is criminally underrated as a comedic actress and more often than not her movies have heart that I am not sure I would be able to see if she wasn't involved.  However with FAQ that isn't entirely the case.  No instead this movie is mostly carried by O'Dowd who is quickly becoming a comedic force all his own after I.T. Crowd and his turn in Bridesmaids.  You know the part in Looper where Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are in the diner and JGL is trying to wrap his head around time travel and Bruce Willis essentially tells him to shut up and he's not going to get into it because it's too weird and complicated?  Yeah this movie is essentially all the stuff Bruce Willis didn't want to talk about.  It embraces all the weird and convolutedness of time travel and it manages to make you laugh the whole way through.  Find this movie and love it as much as I did.

Rating: B+